Still trying to make sure I do my 10 year justice, I've given some thought to some of the husband complaining that's going around the internet. I think blogs are great outlets for this activity, after all it was the primary reason I started this one. I had / have a quaint and much neglected little blog elsewhere, but technically all my family and friends know about it. I didn't want to start in on my complaints there because 1. some of my family and friends may have been tired of hearing me wax rhapsodic on the Hubs 2. I didn't want to share those kind of details with some of them and 3. I didn't want my complaints to color the view some people have of him. I only want to vent to people who will likely never meet him or who love him as I do i.e. despite his lazy behavior. Because, really, almost any complaint I have about the man boils down to laziness. Lack of follow through, not pulling his weight figuratively, not losing the actual weight he constantly complains about, leaving his damn dirty laundry in the small footpath I have right next to the laundry basket, etc. But yesterday, I gave some extra consideration to the irritations that are due to the male-female differences.
A couple of weeks ago when I gained a Twitter follower, @ToyWithMe, I didn't get very far in checking her out because, admittedly, I'm still a little uncomfortable with discussing and even reading anything to do with sex life outside my marital unit. However, yesterday another Tweeter (I don't remember who) sent a link to Toy With Me the blog. After reading the article about why men cheat (not a concern of mine, but I'm always interested in this topic) I looked around a bit and came to an article titled "Men - I'll Take the Good with the Bad." The Redhead (one of the contributors) touches on some fairly common husband/BF complaints and why she feels they are undue. Mostly I agree with her, but unless Hubs has just stepped out of the shower you will not find me relishing in his scent!
It is written from a humor stand point and not as a marital counseling article, so the parts I feel compelled to counter are irrelevant to the article itself, but pertain to the idea of complaints about husbands. While all those points on the natural behavior of men are good and true, there is a glaring omission that affects how we as women deal with it. Along with all our flaws, the average person is also equipped with self control, this includes men. They also have ears and brains that process and store information they gather via their ears. While there are positive aspects to the way men are wired, most of the drawbacks can be tempered if a man used his ears, brain and self-control.
(read the article, I'm about to vicariously bitch at my husband and it will make more sense if you know what she said.)
Seriously, who likes to be interrupted when recounting the problems of the day? Maybe it's not their problem solving instinct, but the interrupting and not listening part. I'm a problem solver, too, but I am usually able to listen to all the factors first. Being over-protective, too ready to get physical (fights and sex), possessiveness and being easily angered are all counter to the "sensibility" men supposedly have. It's all leaping before they look, not thinking it through. I really don't need you to drop everything you're doing and track me down in Target just because my cell doesn't get reception in there and you didn't know where I was every second that morning. You don't need you to drop it all either and if you could wait another 30 minutes, I'd be back on the grid. Here's another tip (that's oft repeated by me): If I've told you I've had a bad day, whether it's stress or headache or hormones, trying to feel me up isn't going to get you sex. The only dirty thing that will come from that is the look I'll give you while the dryer, oven and kids are all sounding their alarms while you're trying to get your hands down my pants. Use some of those problem solving skills: occupy the kids, fold the laundry, or bring me the ibuprofen and a glass of water. Anything that's helpful without me having to ask. Lord knows if you don't understand the basics of how a household works enough to figure that stuff out on your own, then you're just another kid to us and I'm pretty sure you'd rather have a partner relationship than a parent relationship with your wife. I know I would.
So, that's my husband rant for the day - just getting it out of my system people so I can, you know, be nice to him on our anniversary.