Saturday, April 10, 2010

I'd like to blame the tears on allergies

At each turning of the season, I find myself blubbering like a baby. Like an idiot. I go through dozens of items, clutching each one, recalling the memories surrounding it, lamenting all that this process symbolizes. I unpack the new, take out the old and set aside the rest for the future. This simple, oft done task reduces me to tears. Every. single. time. I mournfully contemplate the growth, tearfully recall the accomplishment, and lament the things not done. Who knew that some of the landmines of motherhood would be found in the children's clothes closets?


ViolinMama said...

I hear you on this! Wow. I find myself doing this daily. It does come in phases, and yes - the seasonal change in clothes. Or, after a particulaly long and hard day that I want to end with quick bedtimes and I ponder - "their childhood is the SHORTEST part of their lives and mine. I'll know them longer as adults, so why am I rushing bedtime, or through a hard day?" They grow too fast, and without permission.

A lot of my "baby blues" post partum come from this feeling of fleeting time. Within the first few days of being home with a new baby, I find myself with these feelings of time rushing by - the baby is already _____ days old, or I'm too tired and foggy to know what the older kids are calms down, but it's hard.

Let the tears fall, and be glad you don't take your family for granted. That is a wonderful trait as a mother. And you are a great one.

contact said...

I cry for two reasons. The pollen count is over 5000 (yes, all those zeroes are correct) and because my daughter just bought flip-flops in the ladies department and my son has officially outgrown the pants/shorts in the boys 8-20 department.

I totally get it! So many people are in a hurry to get their kids grown and out the door - I just want to slow the whole process down and let them be kids a while longer.

LindsayDianne said...

Oh man. Tears....
I have been coming to terms with our decision to not have any more children.... And.. It's okay, but it is hard sometimes knowing that what it is I'm doing now will be the last experience I have with parenting my own child. But then I also know that while I started very early, most of my friends are ready to start trying or having babies now and I'll have many many tiny bodies around my house for a very long time ti come.
Still, while talking to my grandma I was told that I shouldn't be sad. "Sad," She told me, "Is when you're done because you're being forced for some reason. Sad is that you CAN'T have more. You're choosing. That's not sad."
But you know what? IT IS SAD to be knowing that you're wrapping up a part of your life. And if it's cleaning out closets that makes you leak from the eyes.
Because the tears that you don't cry, just make you feel crappy on the inside.
Let them out, cranky mommy. :)

Mrs.Mayhem said...

Yes, yes, yes! I've been making a quilt with my childrens favorite clothing. I just can't bear to part with some of it.

My baby registered for kindergarten today. Sniff.

The Empress said...

Oh, gosh, yes.

And my husband knows this. I'll start to clean out the closets, then come downstairs crying. He'll say, "just let me do it" b/c he knows it reduces me to blubbering tears,

Found you off of Mrs Mayhem. I like your style. I'm your newest follower. People who can't get enough of their kids...that's me...

The Redhead Riter said...

I totally understand. Alyssa turns 17 tomorrow. Where did all the time go?

Andrea (ace1028) said...

The way my allergies are acting up these days, you can go for it, use that excuse, I'll believe you AND back you up! ;)