Tuesday, April 20, 2010

9 years 11 months

into my marriage. Does this mean 9 years 13 months ago I got married? (Have I mentioned that almost as soon as I learned I was pregnant the first time my math skills went out the window. Or more precisely down the drain as I was in the shower the first time I realized I had lost them when I tried to divide $933 by 2 and came up with $311. ooh so close yet so far away.)
The point is, that I'm fast approaching my tenth anniversary. So, I've been thinking about what I would write for you all. Each of these last few years has been more challenging than the last and there are days I struggle to recall why I married the man in the first place, let alone come up with a few dozen words celebrating our decade of marriage.
He annoys me to no end but he delights me to no end as well. He infuriates me and inflames my heart. I can't imagine going on with him but I can't imagine not having him. It's just that lately, my feelings have trended to one side more often than the other (guess which). So, I'm giving myself a big head start. 10 years here we come.


ViolinMama said...

Sometimes when that boat tilts WAY too much to one side, and it would be easier to just dive into the waters it is threatening to capsize in than to attempt to lug, lobby, pull, or launch yourself to the opposite, uphill, surviving side - the triumph comes in the fight to survive and crawl up to the higher railing. I hope you'll keep fighting for that safer place.

I know that takes strength, and energy that could be waning - and the fight would be SO much easier if you had a partner helping you get up to that other side - possibly equalizing the tilt and righting the boat again. But at least you know your part and your determination. I'll keep praying for the rest - the not feeling alone, or the feeling of drowning from the workload of being the rock of the family - and for a partner who sees and is ready to work with you to find that safe balance. You have many on your team rooting for you, for you both, that you can find meaning for the ups and downs of your first 10 years, and find purpose and renewed hope in fighting for the next 10. I hope Hubs can feel the same way - especially when looking into the beautiful, incredible, 3 faces that shine as an example of when love is so right, it creates miracles. Ones born from a miracle of a woman worth fighting another 10 years FOR, not against.

You are loved. Both of you. I look forward to your writing and processing as you approach TEN!

Love you!

LindsayDianne said...

We've just about hit five. I know that when we first had our daughter the boat was tipping, and I'm lucky, in a way, that I was totally reliant on him because that's probably why I stayed- waited it out. Now that we're here- The boat is tipping to the elated, back in love, and while I'm so happy to be feeling this way, I'm well aware that this is what long term love looks like- A pendulum that requires an equal commitment from both- and one that sometimes feels like you're totally pulling along on your own.
It's not easy, being together.

mrshev said...

A very wise person said to me about relationships that having a girlfriend is a One Day International but being married is Test Match Cricket. I have to agree with that.

My wife and I have gone through some torrid times and at our lowest, when the storm was fiercest, we lashed ourselves to each other and crossed our fingers.

We're still here and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I write a blog to make people laugh, but the most important laugh is my wife's.

(love the blog BTW - well written and truthful as all great blogs should be.)