Friday, September 4, 2009

Oh, Daaaddyy

Since Hubs has been out of work for quite some time now, a year and 3 months, and freelance or contract work has been sporadic, he's been home a lot. I've really been trying to not let his "habits" get on my nerves, because honestly they can only take so much. But it's hard. For instance:
I like to keep the toilet lids closed but when he's done he lowers the seat only. Is it so much harder to close both at the same time? I'd understand it more if he left it up entirely.
I can tell you generally, often specifically, what he's snacked on by which cabinet doors are open and what texture the smears on the refrigerator handle are.
He doesn't wash the kids cups as a set. I never have the same amount of cups, lids and valves in the drawer which is OK, I guess, except when there's less than 3 of any one part.
If he's going to get cranky about what time the kids go to bed, then why doesn't he help get them there?
OK I won't indulge my thinly veiled whining any longer. My real problem was stated in the first sentence. However, my upbringing did prepare me for that. As the family of a contractor, it was always feast or famine in our house. So I've got an example of how a marriage and a family survive during those tight times, but instead of keeping on paring down our lives, we're spending more. And I'm simply frustrated by feeling guilty with every purchase. But we had to get a minivan, which has a payment and higher insurance, and I simply didn't do well homeschooling the eldest while the 2 youngers were at home so this year they're in preschool. And the eldest is also at the highest age for beginner ballet and I know her, if she started when she was older and everyone else knew more than she did and she was always behind or lost, her love would quickly die. And how hard is it to put one kid in and not the other? Too hard for me. Hubs field is so small - and usually the first on the chopping block - I don't know which is harder, not getting any response at all when resumes are sent in or there not even being any jobs to apply for.
OK, thanks for the ear. I'm done whining!
(Title phrase is what my 3 year old has started saying when she comes across the results of one of Hubs' bad habits)


ViolinMama said...

Wow.. I know how it can go. It's hard on the routine when someone who isn't normally home is home, and does "bachelor" like things, as if no one lives in the house with them! I'm sorry.

I think the $$ decisions you've had to make are good ones. I think we also will be needing to get a van soon as well - my back is not doing well anymore with the current system, and even though we'd have two payments, Hubby's payments are about done. It's a stretch...ok, a BIG one....but with Lovely having activities, the need to carpool, etc...I need more seatbelts. It's something we may have to go for. So we understand you needed a safe car, AND preschool to help you homeschool. Are there other ways to cut back?

Also, marriage wise...can you talk to your parents about taking the kids more for an overnight? You may not realize it, but having time to be adults could help you both communicate more. Be honest, or simply RELAX together. It needs to be scheduled, and regular (same night every week). Otherwise, as your marriage gets burdened, both of you could get more angry or depressed. If you can't tell your parents why (I SO get that) say you need a scheduled night a week for something house or job related?

Just sorry...We'll be praying!!

We are really starting to relate to you all with the stress of three kids, the economy, You have no idea.

Much support!

Elisa, The Unlikely Housewife said...

ooooh, I've been there. Not that long, mind you, so that already makes you eligible for sainthood in my book.

You'd think that with more than one person getting annoyed at their habits they'd catch on quickly ;-)

Best of luck in finding a job soon!!