Thursday, July 30, 2009

potty training problem

Yesterday while I was holding AK up to a sink at an inflatable play center, he gassed and I asked him if he pooped. "I didn't poo!" was his response. Not a big deal except that was his second phrase ever (his first being several months ago - "Mad at Daddy" - HAHA!)
Then last night he started grabbing at his rear, exclaiming poo..poo, getting the changing pad and laying down. He was clear and dry, but he kept on. I tried to get him on the potty, Hubs was finally successful with that but nothing happened. He came back down stairs and began his frantic insistence that I change his diaper for a few more minutes before he settled down on the couch with a blanket. I put him to bed and about 1:30 he woke up crying because he'd pooped.
This has only been one instance, but I'm trying to prepare before we start having withholding issues. Any suggestions for a kid who's too young to bribe?

Monday, July 27, 2009

Not as fancy as diamond earrings...

School is starting up again, and if you didn't know, I'm doing homeschool for my eldest. I've been looking at what I've got and what I need - and at what has survived long enough for AK to benefit from it too. He's been interested in sorting and stringing beads and wrapping cords around everything, but one of the things that have long since been lost/destroyed was our lacing shapes. Oddly enough my friend just let me know about a give away she's having this week - for lacing shapes.
Belle of the Blog is having a contest courtesy of All Children's Furniture, where you can find everything from bunk beds to toys. Stop by and enter to win a set of Melissa and Doug Lace 'n Trace Shapes.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Not a stellar moment, but it worked

Perhaps my morning routine is a little lacking, but I usually do not get up before the kids. I strive to, but with no real reason to it is hard. I usually get my best, sometimes only, sleep after 6am so I sleep as long as I can. I will fix breakfast for everyone, strap the baby into the highchair, turn on the TV and go take a shower. The other morning, while I was in the living room picking out shows, AK carried his plate of scrambled eggs into the dining room (and didn't spill them) and sat at the table. He didn't want to sit in his highchair so I let him stay put. I figured I'd shower at lunch or nap time. The morning went downhill from there. Arguing, fussing, aggressive behavior, selective hearing - you do realize I'm talking about the kids, right? - and total non-cooperation. I got very fed up, sent everyone to their beds for quiet time and took a shower. Something happened in that quiet time. They came out of it happy and cooperative. We cleaned and vacuumed the floor in the girls' room and the living room. We put away some of the loose toys and read a book. All before lunch. It worked, but I still felt like I could have challenged Jana for her title that morning: The Meanest Mom

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My Stomach Speaks to Me and a Ringing Endorsement

I was all excited to go out for drinks, dinner, dancing and drinks. Also, drinks. I don't drink often or drink much but sometimes it can be helpful. Like if you've been stressed out for a variety of reasons or if you have chronic muscle tension or if you're going dancing and you're not good at it. On the way there, my stomach began to feel funny, queasy in fact. I said to Hubs "Every time I have the opportunity to drink, my stomach starts to feel yuck so I don't drink" He said, "You're just thinking about it too much, have fun" So I did, a Caiprihana, Mojito and a vodka drink called a martini even though it's not, kind of fun. I found out that I'm so old and out of shape that dancing to 3 salsa songs was enough to put an ache in my right hip. But not so old that men didn't ask to dance with me. I also found out that I did indeed have the stomach bug AK had early in the week. Great timing. (And yes I know the difference between an alcohol induced sick and a virus, for one thing it's day 3 and I'm still having issues.) I don't know why I didn't listen to my body, stomach in particular, but it sure was nice to not feel the pain in my back, shoulders and neck if only for a few hours.
Bonus: My lipstick got an unexpected trial: I put it on before I ate, drank, and well... you know, plus the ensuing rinsing and teeth brushing and it was still there the next morning - Maybelline Superstay Lipcolor. If that's not a golden review I don't know what is HAHA!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

fashionist...er?

We're on outfit #3 for the day, not because AK keeps getting messy, but because he keeps changing his mind. UGH!

Friday, July 17, 2009

The things facebook can bring up for you

Does any place strike up such strong negative emotions that you'd just as soon have it fall off the face of the earth as have to ever visit it again?
There is a place like that for me and 4 people who make it that way. Just 4 people. 1 is the man who molested my sister and as the therapist helped her discover, my mother before her. 2. now deceased, is my grandmother who married that man when my mother was young. Both of whom told any and every body of his innocence despite the fact that he confessed in a plea bargain. Heaven forbid you should believe a statement made under oath when you have the man himself saying he only confessed to save his beloved granddaughter a second trial. (the first was a mistrial because 1 juror voted not-guilty)
The 3rd and 4th were girls my age, women now. The 3rd is that stereo-typical girl who says she's your best friend to your face and then goes around telling all kinds of lies about you behind your back. And not just yours, but those of many others, too. The 4th was someone I loved as a sister. At the time, probably more than my sister. I moved away (a whole other story) but we remained close. My grandparents brought her as a surprise to my HS graduation (this was before we found out what he'd done 6 years prior. The instruction to "not tell" can have a strong hold on an abused child; my sister and especially my mother can tell you that) We wrote, called and when we entered college, e-mailed. I thought I'd found a friend for life. I moved back to the state and went back into a similar social circle as I'd been in before. This group mostly comprised just those who were either still at home or were at a local community college - and her. She went to a big university. I was working 3 jobs at one point. Paying for rent, saving for that same big university, and waiting to get my residency status back so I could afford that school. At first, I was so busy that I didn't notice any change. "Girl 3" told me some wild tales about "Girl 4", lesbian crushes turned obsessions and threesomes were mentioned several times. I didn't believe her, since I knew her history with the truth. But then I began to notice that Girl4 was blowing off our plans with lies when it turned out she was spending time with her college roommate. Another one of her purported lesbian crushes - you know she had to settle for someone when Girl3 wouldn't consent to more than a 1 time experiment. So I began to wonder if there were the tiniest bit of truth, but saved any conclusion for the words out of Girl4's mouth. We moved in together, but kept growing apart. She'd make or agree to plans and not keep them. Items kept disappearing, though I 100% blame Girl3 for that, I felt like it was probably intentionally "unnoticed" by Girl4. Then one evening, I fixed dinner for Girl 4 and my now husband. As we were eating she started to "jokingly" question me about trysts I had with her ex. Things that never happened. I'm sure we can all figure out her source on that. Whether or not she believed the story, she chose to bring it up in front of my boyfriend to hurt me in some way. And that was pretty much the last conversation we ever had. I started spending more time with Hubs but was still paying 1/2 rent and utilities. I'd made an agreement and intended to stick to it. I also left all my furniture and other items since it would leave her without so much if I'd taken them. She called one day saying she'd found another roommate so I could move out officially. The last call I got from her was a furious message that I took her kool-aid. Which I did not, by the way, it was still in the kitchen drawer, but never mind all the stuff I did leave like cleaning supplies, shower curtain, bath mats, pots and pans, silverware, dishes and a whole dining room set. I never knew what really happened between us. In case you couldn't tell, it still kinda hurts. I think the not knowing is part of it. And the fact that I seem to be SLOW to learn lessons in the friend department.
And what has this all has to do with facebook? I got a friend request from a woman a year younger than me, who I have a vague recollection of as being a beautiful and upbeat person saying "You have NO IDEA how many times I've looked for you on here! How are you, where are you, what are you doing????" And even though I usually blame being a mommy for having a terrible memory, I think I simply have a terrible memory for the everyday parts of life. If there's not some huge emotion attached to it, I probably don't remember it. I "have NO IDEA" why she'd be looking for me on fb so much, I just don't remember much beyond the sparkle in her eye when she smiled (and to clear up any rumors that may be out there thanks to Girl3, no I've never had any lesbian crushes, she just had one of those smiles that you couldn't help smiling back at and I've found that to be a rare quality). Although I might other wise converse with her and maybe accept her friend request, I can't help but wince at her location and the larger fact that both Girl3 and Girl4 are on her friend list.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Christmas in July

When everyone is really tired and your 2 year old is sick it seems like a good idea to send your 3 & 5 year olds up to their room to play birdies. This usually involves lots of pillows and blankets to make nests and often lasts for an hour or so of relatively quiet, cooperative play. About 90 minutes into this bliss, I went upstairs to the bathroom. I heard the rush to the door and the plea "Don't come in, we're making a surprise". "OK, I won't" was my cheerful reply. My naive, if I'd had enough sleep I'd have seen through that, perhaps I was choosing to pretend, response. A while later it was time to clean up before dinner. I ascended the stairs, heard the usual scramble to hide (they like to hide and say "surprise" as often as possible) and open the door. "Surprise! It snowed in here!" They shredded a full box of tissue to play winter birds. 2 days later and we're still cleaning it up.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Whew I'm glad that's over - Cranky Kids edition

Well, my sister's wedding is finally over. There were plenty of cranky making days in the process not the least of which were the days when I needed to be working on making the flower girl dresses and I couldn't get real help from Hubs - help he agreed to when we discussed how expensive flower girl dresses are. Anyway, I ended up making them in time even though that involved many LATE nights because I'd have to wait until the kids were in bed to do things. And the poor kids. The last 2 weeks, there were plenty of things I could do while they were awake and around; which meant not much attention from me. There was lots of running around, one day I went to 5 stores, then the mall which involved 7 stores and then one more store outside the mall. They were excellent though. I was even able to keep out a large portion of my supplies and equipment with minimal meddling from the kids. It was wonderful in that regard!
Then came rehearsal day, we couldn't swim when we got to my parents', there was lots of standing around following orders. A 2 year old without a nap late dinner etc. GR was a champ - AK refused to hold the ring pillow and GR gladly changed her role from flower girl to ring bearer, then my sister decided she would rather have no ring bearer than only one flower girl and GR went along with that even though she was really excited by the idea of delivering the rings. Finally dinner came. Sis picked a Japanese steak house and we had 3 tables - she separated the kids from the adults. Uh, this doesn't usually go well for mine but they did fine. They were with kids they barely knew (except Sis's daughter) and after some seating rearranging they were fine. Hubs and my cousin went to their table when it was time for the "show" which involved fire. They only ate their rice of course but they did well. Then we ended up staying at my parents' until --- 1:15 AM doing last minute wedding stuff that Sis hadn't done. And the kids were awake. Then at the wedding, lots of standing around, staying out of the way, not messing up their clothes, not getting regular meals, no naps, walking down the aisle in a room full of strangers, sitting quietly, posing for photos. AK ended up happily taking the pillow up to his uncle the best man, though he walked down with holding my hand instead of behind me, he tried to stand next to me then tried to go down the steps, stumbled whereupon he saw the room full of people and his daddy standing beyond the door so he went running back up the aisle with the cry of "DADDDDDYYYY!" The girls did their petals beautifully, but AT immediately turned around and began picking them up again. Lots more waiting and being careful and quiet through another round of photos. They had just about had it though when we finally got the opportunity to have a family portrait shot - who knows how that will turn out HAHA! Then the party at the church, then the party at my parents' , where once again they weren't allowed to swim (even though other kids were & they didn't fuss about it!) and we stayed really late again. Then Sunday, we went back to my parents' to visit out of town family. We didn't swim, but I told them I'd take them out after dinner. We went to a Mexican restaurant, which they love at home but barely eat out. Thankfully there was pizza on the menu and again they behaved beautifully and played well with their second cousins. Finally, we got home, got everyone suited up and out to the pool. I was last in coming because I was last to have a chance to dress. As I hit the deck, everyone was on their way back in - lightning was spotted on the horizon. No tears, no arguing. My niece summed up both the situation and everyone's attitude very well "Well, we don't get to go swimming but at least we won't die."