Wednesday, May 20, 2009

9th Wedding Anniversary

Well, I think the title pretty much says it. 9 years ago on this day I stepped into a white marble church in Charleston as one person and came out as, well, the same person, but with a different name. Only not really because I still had to go to the SSA office to change it.

In the past 9 years some things have changed, or not as the case may be, but I still love my husband. Even though he drives me crazy, which is something that hasn't changed. Hubs is a man I can be many things with. Silly and serious, doofus and intelligent, childlike and mature. He is those things right along with me. Our fundamental beliefs are in line with each other, if not exactly the same: spirituality, religion, parenting, fidelity, finances. There are a few bumps in those areas, but none like the bumps in the more "superficial" aspects of our relationship. Even though on the "superficial" side, I question our compatibility and our staying power, it is the fundamentals that keep us together.

Much to my parents' surprise/shock/dismay Hubs and I moved in together before we were married. In fact we moved in together, rather I moved into his house, soon after we realized the relationship was headed toward marriage. I'm not actually sure if my parents were shocked or dismayed, they never said that, but my mom did say she didn't think it was a good idea. I, on the other hand, felt that if we were indeed to be married that I ought to know what it was like living with him 24/7 beforehand. A lesson I took from my mother's own experiences with her first husband, so after explaining that, I got full support from my parents. So lest my complaining has made you think otherwise, I knew pretty much what I was getting in for. Only I was too naive at the time to realize the excuses weren't valid. And that's not even quite right. There ARE reasons, it seems like something is always interfering in "normal" life. But that's the thing - this idea we have of "normal" life doesn't exist. It never has and never will - THIS is "normal". Which is why the excuses aren't valid. That being said, if I had moved into his house only after we were married, I think it would have been a lot tougher to adjust. There is somewhat of a shock to the system after you get married and to have the shock of his lack of cleanliness skills on top of that... well, I think we would have joined the statistics of couple who divorce after a couple of years.

It has been a struggle and some days, weeks, or months continue to be a struggle, but there have been some very incredible moments as well. So help me, sometimes I have no idea why, but I love him very much - always have, always will.

1 comment:

ViolinMama said...


What a great post....we too are grateful for your staying power and sticking it through. Ya'll are worth it, every penny!!