Thursday, April 2, 2009

Who are you?

I can't help it, I wonder who are the people who live near me that are reading this. I don't know, I think it is connected to what ever it is that likes to know where other bloggers live. Like knowing their physical location makes them seem more real and not some entity made up of HTML/CSS coding. Not all stalkery, but in a "this is my town and these are fun things to do here" type way. But those who live near me could be IRL friends who just haven't piped in, which doesn't seem like any of my IRL friends! But then again some of them have said that I seem to be "on top of things". And now I'm traveling down a whole other road whose residents are self-doubt, timidity, masks, endless analyzing, friendship envy (as in I envy those who are able to make friends easily), and one of the core reasons I started this style of blog. On the surface it may seem that I started it simply to complain about Hubs, but really, I started it to get that off my chest. I hope that doing that helps me to stop projecting those pent up feelings of angst. By telling people, "hey this is really where I am in life" I hope to shed the layers of public persona and just be me. And the real me isn't so cranky. I miss the real me and am trying to expel the cranky, depressed and just plain tired person who can barely hold a conversation much less be witty, who is having trouble connecting. OK so this went from "Who are you?" to "Who am I?" and even with some severe editing, this is still a little hard to follow. So, um, where was I? Oh yeah, I better go to bed!

3 comments:

ViolinMama said...

Hello! This is your neighbor :)And I love reading more about who you are....blog away on whatever you nerd to!

And, it is interesting the perspectives we have. While I understand and have spoken or heard from you on the "opening up" more to friends....I've often envied your connections and friends locally. You are well loved here where you live. Believe that and try to enjoy it soon....LOVE you!

ViolinMama said...

and THANK GOd someone analyzes as much as I do!!! I thought it was just me. You exude a confidence about yourself. If its a wall...then I'm glad you are breaking it down and sharing it - but I envy it's appearance. I sometimes feel I walk around like a loose cannon and people don't want to be around that.....(again, analyzing that too much....)

Cranky Mommy said...

Sometimes I think Google Analytics isn't a good thing! For a while the only "town" that showed up on the map was ours then 2 other "towns" in our area, areas where some of our friends live so I just can't help but wonder... that's the thing about blogging though, you're sharing your inner thoughts with the rest of the world. It's still a little strange to me. The other readers are from other states.