Monday, March 9, 2009

Yes, I am

I need an outlet to be cranky and whiny. I keep it to myself too much, because I know no one really wants to hear it. And really, I don't want to pour it out to my friends because I have a hard enough time participating without being labeled negatively. I hope that blogging about it will help to get it out of my system and maybe I won't feel so cranky.

I've been married for almost 9 years, together very nearly 11. And it's falling apart.
We have 3 kids 2 girls, 5&3 and a boy 21 months.
My basic complaints consist of persistent daily headaches for the last 17 years, though I suspect more because of my 5 yo and memories of not being able to keep my head up in grade school and getting in trouble for it; insomnia/interruptions when ever I get a chance to sleep; and my husband. I'm sure he has plenty of complaints about me but this is my blog! Also, really, he is a good man. There's no abuse, no drugs, no alcohol (well, there's a normal amount of occasional alcohol), no cheating (that I know of). We just "live" differently and don't get along very well anymore.


ViolinMama said...

YEAH for your special "real" place. I'm really, really proud of you!! I hope this helps....and I'm glad it is already working. It will take the pressure off from feeling like you talk too much, vent too much, etc. I already felt a weight lifted when I started blogging "deeper" and felt more free...not like I was chained to keeping silent, or e-mailing too much!

Now, I hope you know you NEVER talk too much to me, or vent to much, so PLEASE talk as you can, are able, want to....I'm here. No judgement, and lots of love and "I get it" as best I can.

I'll add you to my "reader" but anon....I won't list it on my roll. If that changes let me know. And, if you are ever worried about "trolling" (people living anon comments in a MEAN way....) on something you vent about, just turn off the comments for that post. I've been there....trolling isn't fun.

Enjoy feeling more free today!!! God Bless you!!

Praying and listening,

ViolinMama said...

Oh - and I'm also really proud of you for working so hard on your marriage.....

I know people can't change easily. As you work on keeping it together, try and reflect on what brought you two together and commit, and keep working from have so much support, thougths, prayers....

And, just like this blog helping you "let this out" and free you...remember to do the same with hubby. Maybe slowly, him hearing your honestly will give him a big dose of reality....

Much love.

Cranky Mommy said...

In some respects, you and I are 2 sides of the same coin, you're the shiny side and I'm the side that's been down in the cupholder and needs a bit more than ketchup to polish me up. Does that even make sense?
And, who in the world would leave a mean comment about you? Only someone completely deranged.